Monday, June 25, 2012

The Bay

Sittin' on a dock at the bay. Had to say it. I'm looking out at Alcatraz, the Golden Gate, the morning silhouette of the city under some broken gray clouds. Who knew how many free wi fi networks you can get on the edge of a dock in Sausalito? Makes me want to sing. Not really.

So I've started this blog thing. I like it because I don't have to open a Word or Pages program to start writing. And I don't feel the expectation to compose and edit, because it doesn't really matter if any of it is read. It's like I have this unruly permission to throw out some thoughts, and throwing up, I mean out, my thoughts feels kind of good. Maybe I'll have less lower back pain. Fewer headaches. Or not.

One of my fears is the failure to appear, or actually be, consistent in my living and thinking. And this blog thing, as I'm reflecting this last few days, is sure to expose my inconsistencies. Already I'm second-guessing some of the stuff I wrote about dreams. Not that I disagree with myself (yet); it's just that the thoughts aren't finished. There's a lot more to it. Dreams shouldn't be abandoned for common work. A lot character and growth happens while you pursue a dream, and, in fact, you've got to roll up your sleeves and get bruised up along the journey, because this is what the dream will demand. It never comes easy. And in the end, you may never see its fruition. You make work and push and grind your whole life to make your dream real, but it may still lie a few years beyond your last day. All you did was prepare and pursue. But I think the preparing and pursuing can breed wisdom, just as much as the dream itself. Don't let the need to accomplish and arrive be the ultimate goal. (All this can be found in your dentist's office on a rectangular framed portrait of the ocean at dusk with the slogan "Life's about the journey, not the destination.") Thank God for some brevity. Let's go eat.

 Wait, one last thought on dreams (for now). If you're forcing the dream, or trying to find one or latch on to one because a twenty-something hamburger flipper just won a singing award and gave what he thought was an original and inspiring yak about following your dream, then go back to work and do good. But if you can't shake the calling because it's a burden on your back (think Pilgrim from Pilgrim's Progress), then maybe you should get on your knees and ask God for the humility to receive more.

I'm still at the bay. I can't believe it. The white coast guard boat (looks just like my son's lego). the red barge getting smaller beyond the bridge, Guiradelli's chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone (can't see that yet, but I will in a bit), and the Giant's game tonight. Maybe another coffee from Sausalito before I go wake up the family. Yeah, it's vacation.


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